Come Hither.

St. Augustine.


Woke up this morning and it seemed to me that every night turns out to be a little bit more like Bukowski. And yea, I know he's a pretty good read. But God, who'd wanna be? God, who'd wanna be such an asshole? Well, we sat on the edge of the river. The crowd screamed, "Sacrifice the liver!" If God takes life, he's an Indian giver. So tell me now, why, you'll tell me never. Who would wanna be? Who would wanna be such a control freak?


So what if she waited for him to complete his music education overseas? So what if she made the effort for two years to go to church, just for him? So what if she waited for him to complete his service to the nation? So what? Because he's a pastor's son, and she isn't Christian, oh, the heavens forbid. Now, so what, despite the effort?

That was my first appalling experience with how one's religion can be an interference in a relationship. It was as good as blaming the parents for giving her that particular religion, no? Like, it was a curse to be born out of the Christian family. Really, is it offensive? Offensive enough to set the guy ( and his parents ) off running? Now, I'm flabbergasted.

Where's the appreciation? Where's the understanding? Where's the mutual respect?


And then I realized I was in the same shit hole. Repulsive, very.
Hey Karma, I bet you totally took a kick out of this, man, seriously.


Honestly, my religion has become more of a cultural than religious practice. Now, judge me.


Oh, for Heaven's sake! Whatever is happening to love, yo?

Gee, lovers turn into monsters at the loss of all affection, almost like it was the affection that kept them from being monsters. And I could have used some warning.





So, with Jul and Ced, we went for a drink after gym. Gym was crap, seriously. I kept having static with the treadmill. Fucking machine! It probably zapped a patch of hair off the damn arms, swear. Eh, cool. Laser hair removal, F.O.C.

It was crazy for a Valentine's night. Someone please tell me that my songs aren't all that extraordinary, somewhat like Alien Pop? No, honestly, I've a bizarre appetite for music, I admit, but not to the extend of Alien Pop (?!) What the fuck, Alien Rap is bad enough, now Alien Pop, eh? KNN. You guys can go choke on your mainstream music and die, really.

Then we had cherry stalk tying match. And the Grand Champion is the one typing this post. Thank you very much! Pro kisser, no? ( haolian nia )



Maybe, just maybe, I was suppose to be born a male. But someone forgot the balls : /






Omg, I hope this post don't sound too theophobic, or too angsty, maybe? Forgive me, because I'm obsessed and stressed with this mess. I can't think of things to write down, to type down. And these fingertips are moving faster than these lips. So you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is.



Ah, yes. And I came across this one verse from Jim Carrey's Number 23 movie ;

But if you fail to keep your word, then you will have sinned against the LORD, and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.

{ NUMBERS 32:23 ; Holy Bible New Living Translation }



It's just sad how Jim Carrey doesn't get recognized for his other amazing movies, like The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Instead, he is being remembered for all the roles he played in comedy.

Well, comedians are usually the sad ones, if you realized. People laugh, they make jokes about themselves. But nobody really know what they think inside, do they? Who knows? Suicide may just happen to browse by every single day.





Eh, Miserable at Best, fucking stuck in me head : /
Great song, by the way. To all you cowards, go listen.




And if this is real, then I was a mistake. And if there is truth, then why can't we find it?


He's caught in the sad trap of gravity.