Come Hither.

i_audiophile.



Maybe I wasn't asking you to say you love me. Maybe I was asking you to understand, because for so long I've been hurt and for so long you've ignored it, and maybe it is bad timing, but maybe I don't care. I've been here all along just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care, waiting for you to say that you've been waiting, too. And you haven't, and maybe you never will, or maybe you're afraid to. But it all hurts just the same, and in the end, I'm the one that's left broken and when I lay down to sleep, I'm still the one crying, so screw the bad timing. I've loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will, when I know it shouldn't be the case.


So your mom told me, that the first time you initiated the break up wasn't because you were stress, like you claimed. But you and your beautiful lies, I actually believed I was inflicting the pressure on you. You made me cry so hard that night, and it was that night that I understood what it was to cry your heart out. And you know what? It wasn't because of me, is it? It was because your neighbour asked you to be with her instead, and you actually considered, and finally decided that it was okay to break my heart. Why did you even bother asking me to come back the next day? You should have left me there and then. Your mom should have told me back then, so I wouldn't go back to you, and left you with a girl who actually would have cheated on you with another guy without second thoughts, who had the decency to flirt outrageously with other guys in your face, whom you can call "baby". And then maybe you would have understood how I felt all these while I was with you. Scared. Insecured. Worried. Pained. In love.

It's a pity I had to know all these only months later. It could have saved me all the pain I'd to go through even until now, and you, all my tantrums.


For using me, I forgive you.
For lying to me, I forgive you.
For hurting me, I forgive you.
For leaving me with these memories, I forgive you.

Maybe you thought you loved me. Maybe that's why you were still searching for that one special person, so for that, I forgive you.


I wanted so much to ask you how and why you did these to me, but it's alright now, since we may never have to cross paths again.


With that, I wish you well.
Goodbye, love.




Masquerade.